He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
