Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
