I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
