I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
