I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
third nipple confirmed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
