I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This is the high leading the old right now
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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