i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
