it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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