At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
