I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
