he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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