I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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