You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The adults are the big ones right?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
