The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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