Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
