I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
