Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
