i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
