That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sext me about skeletons
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
