we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
