No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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