Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We need a shit load of segways right now
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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