all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
