i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
