I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
