Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
