i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
