What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
