There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
