On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
