yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't think brook has ever known best
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
