He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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