Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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