I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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