five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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