I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
