I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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