My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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