Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
