There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
