idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
