Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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