3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
