Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
