If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
