Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
