They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
