The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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