Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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