i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
