i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
