Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
