i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
